Struggling as an undecided voter, I’ve been steeped in pensive cerebration for days now. Finally, I’ve deduced that I must vote Democrat this year. Actually, I paraphrased about half of these from an anonymous list I found elsewhere. Here’s my top 20 reasons:
#20. I’m voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I completely trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing because they now think we’re good people.
#19. I’m voting Democrat because I believe that open borders and government giveaways to foreigners is a great way to grow a nation.
#18. I’m voting Democrat because I believe the Constitution is a living, breathing document and I hope that someone finally kills it once and for all.
#17. I’m voting Democrat because I don’t believe Social Security, SSDI, WIC, Section 8, Child Health Plus, HEAP, Medicare, Medicaid, unemployment, and welfare are enough to help the downtrodden. I want to give up more of my hard earned money for more of these programs.
#16. I’m voting Democrat because I believe that although the left has had control of our education system for decades, and they constantly whine that our education system has failed our children, the liberals still deserve many more chances to redeem themselves. It’s only money. Let’s throw some more at them.
#15. I’m voting Democrat because I enjoy paying a good portion of my paycheck towards my energy costs and I hope my energy costs will increase. Just imagine what the new carbon taxes will do to my electric bill!
#14. I’m voting Democrat because I don’t mind if the school systems are given the right to take my pregnant daughter to get an abortion without my permission, while, at the same time, I must have my written consent to give her an aspirin for a headache!
#13. I’m voting Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving an eco-friendly car.
#12. I’m voting Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution regularly to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.
#11. I’m voting Democrat because I’m not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies as long as we keep all of the death row inmates alive.
#10. I’m voting Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are insane; but, the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t. Plus, I’d rather pay $5 for a gallon of gasoline than to allow drilling for oil off the coasts of America.
#9. I’m voting Democrat because I don’t believe employees have the right to a secret ballot when deciding on unionizing. I prefer that thugs show up at employees’ doors and make them sign a card.
#8. I’m voting Democrat because I believe high corporate taxes and capital gains taxes keep jobs from being shipped overseas. We are currently #2 in the world for the highest business taxes; we should strive for first place.
#7. I’m voting Democrat because I am so thrilled with the current Congress that I not only want them to keep up the good work, I want to give them even more power than they have today. Let’s give Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barney Frank, and Charlie Rangel a little more control over our lives!
#6. I’m voting Democrat because I despise the First Amendment to the Constitution and want free speech wiped out with the Fairness Doctrine. Conservative radio is too successful on its own and liberal radio always fails on its own. After all, freedom of speech is fine as long as no one is offended by it.
#5. I’m voting Democrat because I despise the Second Amendment. Only criminals should have guns.
#4. I’m voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don’t have to hide from us in Iraq and Afghanistan and they come over here, I don’t want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.
#3. I’m voting Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY deem fit.
#2. I’m voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
#1. I’m voting Democrat because I believe that the color of Obama’s skin is more important than the content of McCain’s character.
why anyone would EVER vote Republican?